Archive for April 6, 2010
shadow cuisine
If fusion cuisine is successful, it is due to the inherent integrity of all foods presented, so that poblano chili peppers, say, pop up in a Thai curry. OR, said Thai curry adorns a Baja fish taco. The fish taco may even be filled with Copper River salmon from Alaska, as opposed to the usual cod. It all turns out well, usually.
Until something goes wrong.
Last weekend, due to a series of unfortunate events, I had to bake Rice Crispie Treats. As it is horribly painful to purchase corn-syrup laden foods from the market, it is equally painful to concoct sugary treats in my own kitchen. Knowing that the stuff is sugary, fear-based, carbohydrate-laden, high-glycemic CRAP usually puts me in a bad mood. Having to pour my creative energy into cooking with said CRAP puts me in a horrible mood.
While rooting around in the fridge, I came across a bottle of my favorite brew, Anchor Steam. So I thought this might help. Unfortunately, being horribly empathic, I succumbed to the sugary call of the Rice Crispie mess I had been creating, and actually consumed some of the stuff.
The sugar buzz and the beer buzz was not a “fusion” combination. My engagement in middle-American dessert was also making me feel very, very far from integrity. So I got the rice cooker down, and decided that we were going to have my favorite Pacific Rim snack, California Rolls.
Unfortunately, as the smell of sushi rice began to fill the house, the cloying smell of marshmallow treats quickly became the elephant in the room. The pure spirit of the rice was fuming away, like a young samurai warrior. I could feel its ferocious rice eyebrows glowering at me as I pressed the sticky treats into 8 x 8 pans. IT did not want to be in the room with its bastard hick cousin from America.
By now, I was sick to my stomach, and could barely stomach the combination of seaweed, marshmallows, cucumbers, sushi rice and soy sauce in the air. Unfortunately, I had forgotten the wasabi, which would probably have helped.
All told, it can be certain that fusion cuisine works, only if all the ingredients get along. As for me, I had a rice hangover the next day, and vowed never, ever, to sign up to bring baked treats again.
