Archive for astrology
Traffic Caused by Massive Underwear Shortage
“OK, so I had a little gas…”
…said my husband, as i lowered the window, maneuvering through traffic…
Monday mornings. Seasonal Chaos — the movement from loose summer nights into fall. The first full week back to school. A disarmingly sunny few days, meaning we spent too much time outside. Who knows why, exactly, but this morning was particularly rough getting out of the house. Chez moi, it went something like this:
We were all running about twenty minutes late, with the exception of my husband, who left himself about ten minutes to get dressed and get to his bus (a mere soupcon of moments to transition from sleep to work). Groggily, he wandered through the dining room and asked, “could you drop me off at the bus stop?”
My daughter complained that her nose hurt and her “legs were weak.” I did a quick scan of her energy and concluded that she had probably stayed up too late sneaking Harry Potter by flashlight.
The illogical prognosis: “you’ll feel better when you get dressed.” I don’t know why, but this always works. “OK” she said, “is my my Animal Planet t-shirt clean?”
I felt a sharp shock as I realized that no one had bothered to do much laundry this weekend. Did we have clean underwear? As I lifted a very light-feeling box of Weetabix, I then also realized that we’d blown off the grocery shopping, and it was going to be a mix-and-match cereal day.
As we climbed into the car and wobbled into the glorious, disorienting-to-Seattleites morning sunshine, my daughter exclaimed “I forgot to brush my teeth!”
Prognosis: I handed her a Starbucks napkin and told her to do her best.
Then my husband rubbed his chin, “I forgot to shave!”
Prognosis: for once, there would be at least one man walking around today with a sexy, “oops, I forgot to shave” beard that wasn’t staged. (I often wonder, how does James Denton, who plays Mike Delfino, the world’s sexiest plumber on Desperate Housewives, maintain a consistent 5-o’clock shadow? Every. single. episode?)
I left my disarmingly sexy husband (with actual, unstaged bed-head as well) at the bus stop, and hit the express lanes. I grudgingly contributed to the carbon-emissions which were horribly apparent as a brown ribbon within the clear sunny weather, making the bay sparkle and the mountains stand out like they were blue etchings on the sky.
I felt such a sloppy, chaotic mess on this beautiful planet. Why did we seem so out-of-sync with nature this morning? Which planetary transits might have this chaotic effect which disturbed the small, but important details of our morning routines…?
When I hit the gridlock on I-5, I realized, maybe it wasn’t just me and my family. Maybe a lot of us had gotten up late this morning, played too much in the sun this weekend, stayed up too late reading Harry Potter, forgotten to shave, had critically low clean underwear and breakfast cereal levels…and now we were all piling onto the freeway at the same time.
Or, maybe it was a local phenomenon. In Seattle, it’s still sort of summer about halfway through October. While everyone else is putting on scarves, walking through crunchy leaves, and behaving like a Robert Frost poem, Seattleites are still coming home to a Norman Rockwell summer evening on the porch, the barbecue, kids in the sprinkler.
What was it that caused our chaos, and the resulting traffic…I may never know. What I do know, is thank the goddesses and gods for Mike Delfino and his staged beard, and the new season of Desperate Housewives, the start of which will indicate “Fall is Here” to the West Coast.
Harry Potter Allegory: This one is the bomb
I think I’m not alone in my eye-rolling regarding the genre of “Harry Potter as Christian allegory” books which have appearerd over the years. Still, there is a strong tendency to regard the series as prophetic, and just yesterday, a great and briliiant friend pointed out the recent Vanity Fair astrological forecast for the United States, beginning in 2008. (See below for link). I couldn’t help but get chills as I saw the similarites between America’s upcoming transformation, and the just-ended series of books about everyone’s favorite orphaned Boy Wizard.
According to the article, the Lord of the Underworld, Pluto, is going to be transiting our Cancer nation, through the sign of Capricorn. This transit will give the U.S. a very rough time for the next couple of decades. There will be a struggle between two sides, and finally, the two sides will have to surmount their struggle against one another, to make a choice for something better.
The upcoming Pluto transit through Capricorn will be, for the U.S., like the Dark Lord rising to power. There will be much initial scrambling to blame the conservatives, the government, and whine about our limited freedoms. But since Pluto, Lord of the Underworld, doesn’t give a rip about our petty ego trips, we’d better polish up our magical transformation skills (and I’m not just talking about shouting “Alohomora!” every time you open a door). This ride is going to be rough. It won’t matter who is in the White House. Remember Cornelius Fudge? Government is going to be owned by the business of the day.
Snape and Voldemort, representatives of the Dark, are both Capricorns. Also, the Harry Potter books were born in Cancer. Furthermore, Harry is an insufferably courageous, righteous Leo, who tries to fight the darkness before surrendering to it.
As we know, Harry thought Snape was the evil guy from the beginning, but Snape shows that darkness is not necessarily evil, and courage is not always the virtue of the light side. 
It isn’t until Harry surrenders himself to the darkness that the landscape is transformed, and Snape becomes visible as the Dark Angel.
Our own transformation relies on meeting the Dark Lord (in Capricorn) face to face, as he transits our horizon. As his shadow crosses the secure U.S. suburban dream we have come to embrace as a replacement for the true American Dream. And we have grown larger and larger as we have come to know and love this bastard dream — basically, we’ve gotten fat and lazy, and this “dream” is no more inspired than a Hostess Ding Dong. Is it any mistake that the Minister of Magic, and the ruler of the wizarding world’s status quo is called “Fudge?”
In order to move beyond the world of Fudge, where we stick our heads in the sand and say “I’ve got the right — it’s America,” this surrender and transformation is required. The battle for our collective soul will require the best we have to offer. In short, the world will be a better place when our Hogwarts is ruined. The good news? America will finally be one of the “good” guys.
Read about it here: Vanity Fair Special Alert: Horoscope U.S.A.
